< link rel="DCTERMS.replaces" href="http://trappedcivilservant.blogspot.com" > Aginoth's Retirement Ramblings: Facts and Fluff

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Facts and Fluff

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like . . night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese in the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what
happened.

25. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall
off.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

27 Save the earth. It is the only planet with chocolate.

4 Comments:

Blogger YellowRose said...

Oh the last one is the best!! Especially to this chocoholic!

Thursday, June 08, 2006 1:17:00 pm  
Blogger ribbiticus said...

i love #27 too! yay for chocolate! ;)

Friday, June 09, 2006 9:43:00 am  
Blogger panthergirl said...

Those sound like Steven Wright soundbites. Love him!!

Here via michele!

Friday, June 09, 2006 12:14:00 pm  
Blogger kenju said...

I love these, especially 11 and 23!

Michele sent me.

Friday, June 09, 2006 12:44:00 pm  

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