< link rel="DCTERMS.replaces" href="http://trappedcivilservant.blogspot.com" > Aginoth's Retirement Ramblings: Translating Job Adverts

Friday, May 26, 2006

Translating Job Adverts

Translating Job Adverts

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": (translation) We have no time to train you & you'll have to introduce yourself to your colleagues.

"COMPETITIVE SALARY": (translation) We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE": (translation) Who still live with their parents and won't mind our student -level salaries.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation) We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring blokes wear earrings.

"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM": (translation) We all listen to loony motivational tapes.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": (translation) You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": (translation) Some time each night & some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY": (translation) Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": (translation) We have no quality control.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": (translation) We've filled the job; our call for CV’s is just a legal formality.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": (translation) You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": (translation) You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": (translation) Management communicates, you listen, figure out what the hell they want, and do it.

5 Comments:

Blogger craziequeen said...

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" - that would be my job then....[chuckle]

cq

Saturday, May 27, 2006 5:06:00 pm  
Blogger Bill Sticker said...

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm having a sudden attack of deja vu!

Regards

Bill

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 10:27:00 pm  
Blogger Carmi said...

These are funny because they are true. If only I'd had this when I was a young 'un fresh out of university and looking for work. Damn, I was naive then.

But it DID lead to some adventures along the way. Time has allowed me to laugh at my then-young self.

Saturday, June 03, 2006 5:32:00 pm  
Blogger metromon said...

Dog Food
Job
Building Materials
Car Audio
Real Estate

Sunday, June 11, 2006 9:37:00 pm  
Blogger Nick said...

Thank you for sharing this article. I love it. Keep on writing this type of great stuff. http://www.jobssite.ca

Monday, September 02, 2013 4:04:00 pm  

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