Things I have learnt
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings"
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby " and "mental illness"
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.
Thought for the day:
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that amateurs built the Ark and professionals built the Titanic.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings"
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby " and "mental illness"
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.
Thought for the day:
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that amateurs built the Ark and professionals built the Titanic.
posted by Aginoth at 5:22 pm
12 Comments:
Funny Post
Happy New Year
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
[snigger]
cq
Those are great lists. Love your #s3, 6, 10, 12,18.
Mine's up too.
But I AM a good driver!!! [grin].
The last one is especially true. I was that waitress once.
happy new year to the aginoth brood! ;)
these are so true... happy new year to you!!
Nice learnings - have a Happy New Year!!
I cracked up at #3, because I've taken up knitting and I've already crossed the line into mental illness. ;)
Happy New Year to you!
Excellent advice. Especially the laxative one.
Some very good observations on life that made me laugh out loud. Thanks.
All sound advice. And worth being reminded of. Love your blog!
Loved #14. I am apple-shaped (unfortunately) and especially in Asia, I have had many people ask me how far along I am (even though I am a grandma!) Very embarrassing for both of us, as I never fail to say that I am not pregnant, just FAT!
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