< link rel="DCTERMS.replaces" href="http://trappedcivilservant.blogspot.com" > Aginoth's Retirement Ramblings: Just Because

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Just Because

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
• If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
• Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
• The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.


Answers not required :o) unless your feeling particularly pedantic...lol

7 Comments:

Blogger mad muthas said...

why is it, when the waiter says, 'this plate is terribly hot,' we always touch it to check?

Sunday, December 03, 2006 11:16:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These were great, very funny. Too bad most of them are true haha. I know I've caught myself doing a few though.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006 1:06:00 pm  
Blogger Bob-kat said...

Ah, so it is me then!

Hold on though, it must be relative as all my friends are bonkers in one way or another! :-)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006 1:12:00 pm  
Anonymous ~ Stacy ~ said...

[chuckle] Quite funny.

Thursday, December 07, 2006 11:21:00 pm  
Blogger panthergirl said...

Why does the waiter always ask "How is everything" when you have a mouth full of food?

Why is there braille on the drive-thru ATM?

Why is there no "Working Father" magazine?

Why don't they have men in Speedos dancing at halftime during WNBA games?

Oh I could go on... ;)

Sunday, December 17, 2006 12:50:00 pm  
Blogger justajob said...

Why do people walk up to a bus, read the destination blind and still get on and ask if the bus goes to Brixham?
Hang on, I know the answer to that one. Some times the bus driver forgets to change the blind. Sorry.

Friday, December 22, 2006 10:02:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why when you are in a hurry, all your underwear is inside-out when you take it out of the dryer.

Thursday, March 29, 2007 3:04:00 am  

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