< link rel="DCTERMS.replaces" href="http://trappedcivilservant.blogspot.com" > Aginoth's Retirement Ramblings: Just Because

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Just Because

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
• If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
• Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
• The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Answers not required :o) unless your feeling particularly pedantic...lol


Blogger mad muthas said...

why is it, when the waiter says, 'this plate is terribly hot,' we always touch it to check?

Sunday, December 03, 2006 11:16:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These were great, very funny. Too bad most of them are true haha. I know I've caught myself doing a few though.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006 1:06:00 pm  
Blogger Bob-kat said...

Ah, so it is me then!

Hold on though, it must be relative as all my friends are bonkers in one way or another! :-)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006 1:12:00 pm  
Anonymous ~ Stacy ~ said...

[chuckle] Quite funny.

Thursday, December 07, 2006 11:21:00 pm  
Blogger panthergirl said...

Why does the waiter always ask "How is everything" when you have a mouth full of food?

Why is there braille on the drive-thru ATM?

Why is there no "Working Father" magazine?

Why don't they have men in Speedos dancing at halftime during WNBA games?

Oh I could go on... ;)

Sunday, December 17, 2006 12:50:00 pm  
Blogger justajob said...

Why do people walk up to a bus, read the destination blind and still get on and ask if the bus goes to Brixham?
Hang on, I know the answer to that one. Some times the bus driver forgets to change the blind. Sorry.

Friday, December 22, 2006 10:02:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why when you are in a hurry, all your underwear is inside-out when you take it out of the dryer.

Thursday, March 29, 2007 3:04:00 am  

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