< link rel="DCTERMS.replaces" href="http://trappedcivilservant.blogspot.com" > Aginoth's Retirement Ramblings: Dear God

Friday, August 29, 2008

Dear God

Dear God,

Thank you for doing so much for us mere mortals on Earth, and for the Bible that allows us to understand God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your book, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. (After all, all things in the bible should be taken and followed as the literal law)

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific
laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They
claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to The Welsh, but not
Scots. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Scots?

e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I used to wear glasses, and have had laser surgery. Does my vision have to be naturally 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play Rugby if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that
we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private
family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?
(Lev. 20:14)

Labels: ,

52 Comments:

Blogger craziequeen said...

Blimey - it blogs!!! :-)

I liked the shellfish/homosexuality problem - definitely a conundrum....

cq

Friday, August 29, 2008 12:46:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MY SON IS THAT YOU? ARE YOU RISEN?

Thursday, October 09, 2008 11:14:00 pm  
Blogger Catherine said...

You're probably safe on the rugby, quite likely the ball is made from something synthetic these days :)

Monday, October 27, 2008 10:09:00 am  
Blogger Mimi Lenox said...

You've been royally tagged by the Queen of Memes.

BlogBlast For Peace ~ A Movement Worth Memeing

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:02:00 pm  
Blogger David said...

have fun, if you wish, Aginoth, but do realize that since you are aware of the book and it's author, you will need to account some day for what you did with the message contained therein.
Maybe read the new testament instead since in it Jesus gives us a more perfect picture of relating to the Godhead.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 2:39:00 am  
Blogger ribbiticus said...

interesting questions there, my friend. have you gotten back any answers yet? cianab=)

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Friday, February 19, 2010 7:24:00 am  
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Thursday, March 11, 2010 12:34:00 pm  
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Friday, March 26, 2010 9:17:00 am  
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Thursday, April 22, 2010 10:48:00 am  
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Thursday, April 29, 2010 7:35:00 am  
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Tuesday, May 04, 2010 10:44:00 am  
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Sunday, May 09, 2010 8:03:00 am  
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Monday, May 17, 2010 7:16:00 pm  
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Monday, June 07, 2010 12:16:00 am  
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Virtue dwells not in the tongue but in the heart. ............................................................

Thursday, June 10, 2010 10:51:00 am  
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Sunday, June 13, 2010 7:36:00 pm  
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Make yourself necessary to someone...................................................................

Thursday, June 17, 2010 10:10:00 am  
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Monday, June 21, 2010 6:27:00 am  
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Saturday, June 26, 2010 7:15:00 am  
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Saturday, June 26, 2010 7:15:00 am  
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010 12:20:00 pm  
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Saturday, July 03, 2010 7:27:00 am  
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當一個人內心能容納兩樣相互衝突的東西,這個人便開始變得有價值了。............................................................

Wednesday, July 07, 2010 10:40:00 am  
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Saturday, July 10, 2010 12:22:00 am  
Blogger  said...

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Sunday, July 11, 2010 11:40:00 pm  
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010 4:51:00 am  
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010 11:05:00 am  
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010 11:19:00 am  
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Saturday, July 24, 2010 5:36:00 am  
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Saturday, July 24, 2010 5:37:00 am  
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Tuesday, July 27, 2010 3:29:00 am  
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Saturday, August 07, 2010 11:18:00 pm  
Blogger 佳陳生 said...

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010 10:30:00 am  
Blogger 信陳定 said...

善言能贏得聽眾,善聽才能贏得朋友。......................................................................

Friday, August 13, 2010 2:54:00 am  
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