Translating Job Adverts "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": (translation) We have no time to train you & you'll have to introduce yourself to your colleagues.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY": (translation) We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE": (translation) Who still live with their parents and won't mind our student -level salaries.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation) We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring blokes wear earrings.
"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM": (translation) We all listen to loony motivational tapes.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": (translation) You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": (translation) Some time each night & some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY": (translation) Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": (translation) We have no quality control.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": (translation) We've filled the job; our call for CV’s is just a legal formality.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": (translation) You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": (translation) You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": (translation) Management communicates, you listen, figure out what the hell they want, and do it.